The idea for this article was given to me by a good friend. She wrote about dating on her blog, but she won’t let me read her blog…. Hmmmmm…. Anyway, so you want to date a prepper, huh? Well, there are a few thing you should know and a few things you should look out for, in my humble opinion.
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
In Washington, D.C. . an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital and was well known among the elected officials. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
“I would really like to see President Obama and Senator Reid before I die,” whispered the priest.
“I’ll see what I can do, Father”, replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Harry Reid would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Reid, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Reid agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Obama’s hand in his right hand and Reid’s hand in his left hand.. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face..
Finally President Obama spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”
The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
“Amen”, said Obama. “Amen”, said Reid.
The old priest continued, “Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same.”
“IN GOD WE TRUST”
Ok, I hate to do this to you fine folks, but I’ve got some bitching to do. People are retarded sometimes. Why is it that when the gates open, every single moronic driver comes out of the woodwork and decides to drive at the same time. From the idiot that runs every red light and bobs in and out of traffic, to the dimwit who rides the brakes in rush hour traffic, my only real question is, “what the Hell?”
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a
funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless
man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a
pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar
with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man,
I didn’t stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,
“I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in
septic tanks for twenty years.”
Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.